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U13 Yellows - Match centre

Stoneleigh Athletic
SCR Colts Yellows
Sun 2 Dec 10:00 - League Full time

Dan Aspland in seventh heaven

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For a team to score 7 goals in 70 mins it’s a massive achievement, for one player to score all 7 of them, it’s nigh on impossible. Well, dream the impossible and it may just become a reality. Step up Dan Aspland....

For a team to score 7 goals in 70 mins it’s a massive achievement, for one player to score all 7 of them, it’s nigh on impossible. Well, dream the impossible and it may just become a reality. Step up Dan Aspland....

Of course, strikers don’t score 7 goals without the assistance of the rest of the team and on our day, we can attack better than any team in our age group.

This game was a tale of two parts as the score suggests. Attack and Defence and at this point I am at pains to point out to you all that Defence doesn’t mean the 3 or 4 guys in front of Freddie, it means the whole team. So let’s start and keep it brief with the negative.....

Flamboyancy is a great word to describe the way we attack but on the flip side, on occasion, as a team we can be very lazy in doing the basic hard yards when under pressure which lets the other team gain confidence that they can breach us.
Sometimes flat footed and often ball watching rather than tracking our players, we are getting caught out more than ever and this game we let that happen regularly. However, nothing drastic that Vinny and myself can’t sort out on the training pitch

Anyway - enough of the negative on to the positive.

The first goal of the game was the best of the 11 scored.
Freddie kicking it out to Jamie who passed to Nat and Nat into Ralph. Ralph then found Toby who played a killer pass between to defenders to Ahmet on the wing. Ahmet, with his usual flair, ‘skilled’ their left back and from the byline hit a looping cross over the rest of their defence and for what felt like an eternity and surely too early, Dan leapt like a salmon, holding flight at the far post to nod the ball home into the top corner, fantastic team goal and yet another headed goal from our number one striker.

Now as Dan scored all 7, it’s only fair that my references in this report relate to some of his favourite things.
I am assured by Marshall Martin that these things are Crystal Palace FC and the online game Fortnite.
Coincidentally these ‘favourites’ have connections......

* Some person decided it would be a good idea to own the rights to them
* Every year more money is spent by the people watching or playing than the owners themselves
* There is rarely an upgrade to the content
* At some point you fall out of love with them
* Both constantly require survival
* To go up a level, they ask you for more money
* A lack of defence is notable

So on to the second goal and the 4th penalty awarded to us in a matter of 3 games. A fantastic solo run from Max resulted in the Stoneleigh centre back taking him out. Up stepped Dan to fire the ball ‘evidently on purpose’ under the keepers dive. 2-0 in 10 mins and a rout was on.

The third goal was really well taken. An Ozzie corner from the left wasn’t cleared and the ball came back in. Dan using his strength which has been a real plus point this season, nonchalantly manoeuvred his way to the right hand side of the goal and from 8 yards out blasted the ball into the corner past the hapless keeper to get his Hat-trick in 20 minutes. 0-3 and surely that was that as a contest was concerned......

However, on 35 mins Stoneleigh got one back. SCR left a large hole that Stoneleigh walked straight through, flossing as they went, to strike the ball home to make it 1-3 at half time.

A big team talk from Vinny at half time was needed and the team got back on to the pitch to deliver some more medicine to Stoneleigh.

The game was dead and buried as a contest on 42 as Dan in a replica of his 3rd goal found himself 8 yards out to fire the ball majestically into the corner of the keepers left hand post to make it 4-1 but in what felt like the same minute, Stoneleigh grabbed their second with some questionable defending from SCR.

Our players really do put every effort in and sometimes are emotionally exhausted so lack of effort was never a problem, sometimes thinking smarter was.

4-2 became 5-2 as a great cross from Ahmet on the byline was bundled over the line between a Jenga like stack of Stoneleigh defenders and goalkeeper

Please now can we agree that the game is over? NOPE

5-2 became 5-3. Stoneleigh were no mugs going forward and ripped us open again with a good move. Nothing that Freddie could do to keep that one out

One thing however that we did all afternoon, which is ideal as my 40 years old nerves can’t take the strain, is score immediately after they did and on 60 mins that was exactly that happened....Dans double Hat-trick which Vinny and myself decided was worth at least two jugs of ale at the Christmas drink up later this month.
Great play from The SCR defence in clearing play without panicking, releasing Dan to run on and score into the bottom right hand corner.

Stoneleigh, to their credit kept going and grabbed a 4th sending the Cibardo brothers into early surrender with use of colourful adjectives that may not been out of place in the Urban Dictionary..

The afternoon was finally rounded up with SCR’s 7th and the final goal of the match scored with aplomb but the one and only Dan. His 7th our 7th. What a performance by Dan and if we didn’t have to give it back, would have kept the matchball.

This season has seen all of our players moving up a level and all of them, even if not mentioned this time around in the report are a credit to you all and make Vinny and I smile on a weekly basis. They are a joy to manage and a pleasure to call our team members.

Incidentally the number 7 stands for;

* Number 7 Max Meyers number at Crystal Palace
* Max Meyer is German and Germany scored 7 against Brazil in the World Cup
* The World Cup has been won by 7 other countries than Germany
* The most wins has been Brazil who’s number 7 is Costa
* Which is my favourite coffee establishment
* It’s been two weeks since I had a Costa Coffee
* Wow that took longer than I thought! Two weeks is also known as.......

Well done SCR, well done Dan and well done the team as a whole. Proud of you all. On to the next;

Squad (for Dans keepsake)
Freddie (GK)
Jamie (DF)
Nat (C) (DF)
Yaan (DF)
Dylan (DF)
Ronnie (DF)
Ivor (DF)
Max (M)
Toby (M)
Ahmet (M)
Ozzie (M)
Ralph (M)
Harrison (M)
Adam (S)
Dan (S)

Team selection

Team selection has not been published for this fixture yet.

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